Spring Fling

With the birds chirping and warm weather upon us, there’s no time like the present for a romantic spring fling. If you’re not currently spoken for, get outside and meet someone new. If you are in a relationship, make the most of the sunshine and turn your cabin fever into spring fever!

Go for a walk, throw a frisbee, have a picnic, or watch the clouds – spring is the perfect time to get outdoors and do something fun with your partner. Plus, it’s a great way to start up a summer romance. (You’ll be seeing fireworks in no time!) :-)

Eight Sex and Love Things Men Are Right About

The girls at Glamour say that if we really listen to some of men’s insights (ahh – if we must!) we could have a happier, healthier love life. Apparently, men have eight truths down cold. Check ‘em out:

• When it comes to sex, what's done is done
• Abandon a sinking (relation)ship
• More sex does lead to better sex
• You don't need to talk everything to death
• And sometimes it's fine to be completely quiet
• It's OK (and, dare we say it, a good thing) to check out other people
• Video games can bring you closer
• It's sex, not the Psychic Network

Shopping That Won’t Give Your Man a Headache

The next time you and your partner are looking for something to get you in the mood, try lingerie shopping together. You’ll have fun picking out sweet and sexy pieces that he’s sure to enjoy you in – and out of – later.

If you’re really adventurous, try getting your man into the dressing room for a sneak peak!

Are You a Good Kisser?

Shortly after my first kiss I remember wondering, was I any good at that? After years of practice I think it may be fair to say that truly good kissing is an art form!

You may find yourself out on a date with someone and the two of you have a great deal in common. The conversation is flowing, you have many of the same interests, etc. But it all comes down to those last 30 seconds - it's make or break time.

The kiss of death is a seal all its own. If I don’t call you back, it may not be because I didn’t enjoy hearing about the time you spent working with orphans in a third world country. It may actually be that you are just a bad kisser. According to Nicole Kristal, writer for Newsweek, Premiere, and Back Stage West newspaper, here’s a cheat sheet of oral offenses, so you can avoid being thought of as a cringe-worthy kisser:

• The Vampire Lip-Sucker
• The Speed Racer
• I have a tongue, too, thank you
• Mr. Hoover
• The Cheek-Licker
• Ladies, you can stink, too

If any of these no-no's sound like you, slow down, and think about your next move. After all, practice makes perfect!

Keep the Love Alive

Apparently we’re not the only ones trying to keep the love alive! The people at Cosmopolitan want to teach you how to stay hot for each other, too. It’s said that at a certain point in relationships you reach a lull – things get boring and you lack the luster that was once there. I believe that if you and your partner make the effort to try new things, the fire you share will never fizzle. "Uncertainty is the very thing that fuels the initial interest and strong desire," says licensed marriage and family therapist Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity. "The paradox is that long-term couples tend to give in to being predictable, which causes the relationship to become stale." In addition to the many tips shared on AreYouRomantic.com, check out what Cosmo has to say that might help you and yours turn up the heat!

Signs He’s a Keeper

I came across a recent article on MSN that I thought was interesting, but to me seemed like common sense. According to Karen Sherman, Ph.D., a psychologist specializing in relationships in New York, “Everything you want to know about someone is there for you right at the beginning. You’re more apt to pick it up in a first meeting than a second or third when emotions get involved, and clear thinking diminishes.”

If a guy didn’t posses these qualities, I can’t say I’d be that interested anyway. MSN polled experts and frequent daters to help you detect early tip-offs he’s got serious boyfriend potential. Here, what to look for:

• He’s kind to the wait staff/taxi driver/doorman


• He could pass for Jon Stewart


• His cell is off


• He mentions his mom (in passing)


• He doesn’t mention that his watch is a Rolex


• He gazes at your face
  
  

Role Playing at It's Finest

There’s something about role playing that takes your relationship to new levels. Being in character allows you and your partner to take on a new persona and opens you up to things you may not have previously considered. Role playing will allow you to express your inner most desires and is sure to spice things up in the bedroom.

When it comes to role playing there are many fantasies worth considering. Lovingyou.com provides some interesting insight on the following scenarios:

• Teacher/Student
• Slave/Master
• Service Worker/House Wife
• Bar Pick Up Scenario
• Artist/Model
• Escort/Client
• Stripper/Client
• Doctor/Patient

Of course, you can try any fantasy you like – that’s the point! As long as you are both comfortable with what you’re doing and enjoying yourselves, there’s no reason not to get a little creative!

Flirting With Disaster

A recent question posted on Oprah.com asked if casual flirting was ever okay. I think that if you’re really into your significant other, there should be no reason or desire to flirt with someone else. It’s inconsiderate and disrespectful to your partner.

Rabbi Shmuley agrees and says that even if you believe it’s harmless, flirting with someone besides your significant other is wrong. According to Rabbi Shmuley, “Every time you flirt with someone you are not in a relationship with you are doing two things: diluting the intensity and the focus of the relationship and demonstrating to your partner that he or she is not enough to entertain you erotically. When you are in a relationship with someone, they become your one and only. The relationship is based on total primacy and total exclusivity, which would preclude finding erotic fun with anyone but the person you are in a relationship with."

He also notes that with every relationship comes a little jealousy. If it wasn’t there, your relationship would be lacking the passion it needs to survive. But all good things come in moderation. Too much jealousy is a recipe for disaster. It’s important to find that perfect blend between not enough, and too much.

"Make your partner feel like they are the one and the only," Shmuley says. "Stop playing with people you are not in a relationship with." I couldn’t agree more!

The Science of Good Sex

I recently came across this article on Marie Claire and thought it was interesting. They put in a call to best-selling author Mary Roach to ask her about her latest book, Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex. According to the girls at Marie Claire, “Mary Roach has managed to find the funny in coital research. She spent two years unearthing the quirky technicalities of the way we make love.” Visit the site to read the interview and Roach’s findings for yourself!

Set The Mood…

Setting the right mood can make a huge difference in achieving your personal (and your partner’s) peak performance. Take the time to set the right atmosphere and you’ll definitely be rewarded for your effort. Unlike men, women notice every detail in a sexual situation. Is the bed made? Check. Is Sports Center off? Check. Even though you may not notice, these things matter to us!

So clean up your room, set the right music, lower the lights and even light a candle. These little details will turn your woman on before you even touch her! Visit AskMen.com for more great ideas on setting the perfect mood.

Sex Therapists: A Few Minutes is Best

A recent survey of sex therapists concluded the optimal time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes. The findings, to be published in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, imply that endurance is the key to a great sex life.

Dr. Irwin Goldstein, editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, “Cited a four-week study of 1,500 couples in 2005 that found the median time for sexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. (Women were armed with stopwatches.)” That, however, does not account for foreplay. Therapists also rated sexual intercourse that lasts from 1 to 2 minutes as "too short."

According to researcher Eric Corty, “Prior research has shown that both men and women want foreplay and sexual intercourse to last longer.” I'd be interested to know how much longer those stop watches would have run if foreplay was included!

I think it’s fair to say that longer isn’t necessarily better. It’s the chemistry you share and the passion between you and your partner that makes those 7.3 minutes complete bliss.

Top 10 Annoying Things Women Do

According to iVillage.com, these are the top 10 annoying things women do that “drive men to the brink of insanity”:

10. Pretend to be virtuous
9. Criticize other women
8. Act jealous
7. Become needy
6. Speak in code
5. Invade our personal space
4. Become too emotional
3. Shop till they drop
2. Talk incessantly
1. Use sex as a weapon

After reading the explanation for each, I can see why some of these things would drive men up the wall. Check them out for yourself, and let us know what you think!

To Call or Not to Call?

I never really understood the disconnect (pardon the pun!) between men, women and their respective telephones. As women, the general understanding is that if we’d like to talk to you or we want to see what you’re up to, we call. We don’t need to have any real reason to pick up the phone. The male persuasion, on the other hand, tend to call their friends only if they have a specific point to discuss. My confusion: a.) When did we (as girlfriends, wives and fiancées) start to fall under the “friend” classification? and b.) When did they start to think that their business-only communications strategy applied to us, too?

Granted, we sometimes...scratch that...often go on and on about nothing at all for hours on end, so I certainly respect the self control of our male counterparts. We may, in fact need to take a lesson from them and learn when to cut our ramblings off. (But hey, no harm, no foul, right?)

Men: so maybe long chats on the phone aren’t your thing. A simple text message in the middle of the day saying you’re thinking of me or that you are looking forward to seeing me later would be just as good! The truth is, we love talking to you, even if it’s about nothing at all. Just knowing you like hearing our voice and that you care enough to stay up-to-date on what’s going on in our lives means more to us then you’ll ever know.

Not to diminish the feminine mystique, but women don’t always need marathon phone calls, emails or texts to let us know that you care. A little acknowledgment goes a long way. Finding a way to open the lines of communication—whether through long calls or short and sweet messages—will help keep you and partner on the same wavelength.