Cheating to be Expected?

While it’s expected that men and women should have monogamous relationships, the truth is, men may just not be wired to maintain one. Not to offend the feminists out there, but for centuries, man has been the provider – the hunter and gatherer, if you will. One thing men have always hunted is women.

Although men have been tying the knot for years, it’s still in their nature to be attracted to, and “hunt”, new mates. I’m not condoning it by any means, but if you’re wondering why your husband can’t help but turn his head when a pretty woman crosses his path, that’s why. It’s not about you – it’s just in their nature.

“Nature wants one thing, and what it wants are babies,” Jeffrey Kluger, TIME magazine’s science editor, told TODAY’s Meredith Vieira. “It also wants lots of them and it wants variety, because the greater the genetic variety, the greater the likelihood that the babies are going to survive to adulthood and do well. So even when we’ve had children, we have some very primal software that keeps telling us, ‘Look around.’”

Americans are relatively unique in their expectation of lifelong fidelity. “Historically, most cultures are polygynous, meaning men are legally entitled to take multiple wives, and so mating with many women is very common across cultures and perfectly acceptable in many cultures,” said University of Texas psychologist and author David Buss. “Our culture is somewhat unique in that we have presumptive monogamy or legal monogamy — men are only supposed to have one woman.”

Even though it’s within a man’s instinct to breed more, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he will. Reputational damage alone can be enough to keep your man in line. He may notice an attractive woman, but fear not – he may hold lust in his mind, but he’s got love in his heart. It’s the 21st century; men aren’t building fires with rocks any more, so everything they do isn't based on animalistic instincts of the past. Perhaps some of those early instincts remain, but here’s the good news, he’s with you for a reason! So maybe his head turns when an attractive woman walks by (don’t pretend you don’t do the same thing when you do a double take to make sure that wasn’t Brad Pitt that walked by you on your lunch break), but he thinks you’re beautiful, too! Take nature for what it is, but remember all of the things that you love about one another BESIDES looks – why your relationship works and you’re still together!