The Secret to Staying in Love

We’ve all seen them – the couples that have been together for years and are still soo happy. The question on many minds is...how?

A recent article in Ladies Home Journal, “The Secret to Staying in Love: Real Couples Reveal,” interviewed seven happy couples who have kept their love alive year after year. Here are their secrets:

• Creating Grown-Up Time
• Gestures of Love
• Attitude of Gratitude
• Renewal of Faith
• You’ve Got Mail
• Know Thy Partner
• Rules of Engagement

If you have your own secret that you’d like to share we’d love to hear it!

Wedding Cost Calculator

Tis the season…for weddings that is! “On average, US couples spend between $14,366-$43,098 for their wedding, while their wedding budget is typically 50% less.” And that doesn’t account for the honeymoon or the ring!

If you’ll be taking the plunge in the near future and wondering just how much money your big day will cost you, check out http://www.costofwedding.com/. Just pop in your zip code and they’ll instantly give you the average cost in your area. The results may surprise you!

Doting on Dad

Father’s Day is over and now that the kids have shown Dad how important he is (cards, breakfast in bed, and yet another tie), it’s your turn! It’s time to show your man some gratitude for all the wonderful things he has done for you and your family over the years. And what a better way to do so than with a little romance?

“If you have a family, you’re probably in a state of constant chaos, and romancing your man may not rank high on your list of things to do,” says writer Francesca Clarke. But wait, there’s hope! Clarke surveyed some men in her life and determined that dads are pretty easy to please (what a relief!). “So many dads are busy balancing work and family that all they really want is a little break.”

Clarke came up with 7 romantic ways to spoil him this Father’s Day (and everyday!)

Let him be a kid again
Take care of a tedious “to-do”
Go for a drive
Have a movie night
Breakfast in bed (or a midnight snack)
Step out of the chaos
And for the beer lover, a little fireside beer tasting

How do you plan on celebrating your man?

Couples Cutting Costs

Times are tough! Gas is more than $4.00 a gallon, the cost of food is through the roof and, given the current state of the economy, millions of Americans are being forced to tighten their purse strings. But, what do you do when your "big day" falls during an economic slump?

“According to Richard Markel, president of the Association for Wedding Professionals International, the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is now between $18,000 and $21,000. Of course, the costs vary greatly from region to region. He notes that in the elegant suburbs of Long Island, N.Y., the tab routinely reaches $40,000 to $50,000, while 'you can have an awesome wedding for $12,000 in Walla Walla, Wash.,' he says.”

Many brides and grooms are now being forced to re-evalute their wedding day budgets and, while these average costs are still feasible for some, they may be quite a stretch for others. Luckily, there are now quite a few ways to cut costs, save cash and still have the beautiful and unique ceremony you've always dreamed of. SmartMoney.com lists eight tips that are sure to help you say your ‘I do’s’ without breaking the bank! Check ‘em out here!

New Poll: Wedding Night Uneventful for One in Five Couples

For one in five newlywed couples, the traditional mystique of the "wedding night" falls by the wayside as a result of sleep deprivation, the open bar and reception-squatting wedding guests. According to our new AreYouRomantic.com "Happy Honeymoon?" poll, almost 20 percent of newly married couples don't actually "consummate" their marriage on their wedding night.

To Consummate or Not to Consummate

While we learned that most couples do “seal the deal” on their wedding night, we discovered that almost a fifth of newlyweds don’t. Why? Blame the open bar, lack of sleep and er, “natural” concerns...

• 16 percent of individuals polled said that they did not consummate their marriage on their wedding night
• The reasons why they didn’t?
  -32 percent said that they or their partner were too tired
  -14 percent said that they or their partner had too much to drink
  (Women chose this answer twice as often as men did!)
  -11 percent said that family and friends were still around
  (Men chose this answer more than five times more often than woman.)
  -10 percent said that it wasn’t important to them.
• The good, the bad and the ugly: The list of free-response answers why couples didn’t consummate the marriage on their wedding night was topped by “that time of the month”.
  -Our respondents also mentioned:
  He was playing blackjack all night. (Who does that?)
  Too much sake and sushi consumed. (Yum, but yikes)
  It was consummated MANY TIMES before (notice the caps!)
• Despite 84 percent saying that they did “kick off” their honeymoon in the sack, only a measly 27 percent said there were days when they never left their room (wink, wink).

Something Old, Something New...

We also learned that despite recent changes in weddings and honeymoons, ultimately couples’ feelings toward tradition have not changed.

• 67 percent of people wouldn’t bypass the wedding reception to head right to the honeymoon.
  -Both men and woman answered equally.
• An overwhelming number (70 percent) of brides and grooms still pay for the honeymoon themselves, despite the recent changes in traditional honeymoon financial roles (honeymoon registries, parental gifts, etc.).
  -But, we learned that the honeymoons of more newly married couples have been affected by recent economic issues with nearly half (more than 44 percent) answering that “financial constraints” kept them from doing everything they wanted to on their honeymoon.

The Time of My Life

Despite some minor financial concerns, most couples were completely satisfied with their honeymoons.

• More than 90 percent said that their honeymoons met their expectations.
  -Men answered “yes” 10 percent more often than women.
• But, despite being so satisfied, 55 percent said that they don’t plan to take a second honeymoon.

Men are From Mars and Women are From, Well, Mars

Surprisingly men and woman seem to be more aligned in their answers than originally thought. The only disconnect? Satisfaction—how pleased woman actually were with the honeymoon and pleased their partners thought they were.

• Almost 10 percent more men than women said that their honeymoon met their expectations.
• 10 percent more women than men said that they had to “massage the truth” to convince their partner they had a good time.
• Women were twice as likely as men to experience a bit of “buyer’s remorse” after choosing their honeymoon destination.

Do these findings surprise you? Got a honeymoon anecdote you'd like to share? Tell us what you think!

When Keeping Score Crosses the Line

Let’s face it. When it comes to relationships, we like to keep things fair. We tend keep track of who does what and measure each other task for task. But when does keeping score cross the line?

A time will come when we realize we’re so caught up in who is doing what that we forget the reason we’re together in the first place. And don’t think the Beckham’s or Brangelina’s of the world don’t suffer the same fate!

All couples go through this. What’s important is that we realize we don’t have to share tasks 50/50. So maybe you can’t afford to hire a nanny, chef and housekeeper like A-List celebrity couples. But if we both pitch in, the effort will come full circle. Relationships aren’t about breaking down daily tasks; they’re about taking care of each other and loving each other.

According to writer Keith Ferrazzi, “the bottom line here is ‘give.’ And I mean give on a huge scale. Make it a lifestyle, and you'll succeed, along with your friends and associates. Giving builds real relationships. Expecting and delivering payment, well, just doesn't.”

The lesson is in letting go. I’m not saying that you should allow your partner to walk all over you – just do nice things for them – even when you know you’ll get nothing out of it. If you know doing something for your partner will make you both feel good, do it! The reward will be substantial. Your love will grow and you’ll begin to appreciate each other in new ways you never thought possible.

Sex and the City: A Dating How-To?

Raise your hand...How many of you went to see the randy yet romantic romp, Sex and the City: The Movie over the weekend?

Encompassing four wildly different dating styles, many of us have enthusiastically agreed and bitterly disagreed (and passionately screamed at the screen) over the years throughout the relationship misadventures of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.

The show prompted a mad dash for Manolos, a real-estate run in the Meatpacking District (Samantha’s then up and coming neighborhood) and a new found fancy for cosmopolitans, apple-tinis and other candy-colored adult beverages. But, in a study just released by Engage.com, we learn that the women of Sex and the City had an even bigger influence over the dating habits of adult singles. The poll shows that:

• 52 percent of singles say Sex and the City influenced their dating life.
• 36 percent said they borrowed ideas from Sex and the City and used them in their dating life.
• 55 percent of single women said Sex and the City influenced them to date more like men date
  

And, according to the men polled:

• 19 percent said it changed dating, as it gave women permission to play the field
  

Stop by Engage.com to see more results from the Sex and the City and Your Love Life survey.

As Carrie would say: “This made me wonder...” As much as I craved a great pair of shoes and a VIP invite to stylish shindigs, would I trade my romantic life for Carrie Bradshaw’s? Would you?

Tell us what you think!